52 Weeks of Happy - week 13

It has been yet another marathon week filled mainly with a heady mix of toothache and anxiety.  All in all this has been a horrible month and I shall be glad to see the back of it, maybe April will be better?

1. Good Friday - Jesus Christ died to set us free, the best good news ever.

2. Tulips - beautiful Easter flowers from a friend



3. The Girl in Blue - by P.G. Wodehouse, my new audiobook, a delightfully complicated confection involving  a large cast of improbable characters and read by Graham Seed, aka. ex-Nigel from The Archers.  It's so lovely hearing his voice again.  I find audiobooks a great accompaniment to knitting and a good one can draw you in completely.  It is not just the quality of the book that matters but also the reader.  As someone who has listened to a great many P. G. Wodehouse audiobooks I can recommend those read by Jonathan Cecil and Martin Jarvis (who has done the world a great service by his readings of the Just William stories).



4. Isaiah 41.10 - a verse I found in a list on the Desiring God blog, just when I needed it to help me with dentist related anxiety.

fear not, for I am with you;
    be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

So rich in promises and just exactly what I needed, exactly when I needed it.  God is good at that and I do tend to find that I need reminding of His promises, I am hopeless at remembering on my own.  The original blog post is well worth reading - Nine Reasons Why You Can Face Anything

52 weeks of happy - week 12

It has been a bit of a miserable week, well, miserable few weeks, so all the more reason to look for the positives that have been there.  This project is helping me to see that there are good things in my life, so it is working in that respect, even if it does take quite an effort for me to keep it up.

1. Frogspawn - we have a small pond outside the back door that is able to support a community of somewhere around half a dozen frogs who appear as if from nowhere at this time of year to spawn in the pond and who can be seen on summer evenings out catching insects.  Watching the frogspawn grow is always fascinating and has become part of the cycle of the year.  With considerable diligence my sister has managed to get some good shots of the frogs and frogspawn and she has kindly allowed me to share her pictures.



2. Lunch out - at the pub with my sister, a quiet relaxed lunch and the discovery that the pub now does sweet potato chips.

3. Sock knitting - one of a pair finished, the second on the back burner while I make some swap socks.  Unfortunately I cannot share pictures of the swap socks yet, but I am pleased with them so far, it is going to be hard parting with them.  The on hold socks are Elm by Cookie.a in some sock yarn beautifully dyed by Countess Ablaze.



I also finished another pair of the baby bootees that actually stay on, though I am slightly worried that one of them looks a bit bigger than the other, hopefully they will still work to keep a baby's feet warm?  They took longer than they should have done as I cast on too few stitches on the second bootee and had to start again.



4. More bird watching - there have been a lot of them around this week because of the cold weather and they are fascinating to watch.  My sister got some photographs of them too, the robin in particular was keen to pose, they are such little attention seekers.



It is not always peace and harmony among the birds though.

52 Weeks of Happy - week 11 (finally)

After a week stuck at home with a boring and unpleasant cold, looking for some good points in the week seems even more important.

1. Daffodils and sunshine - always a cheerful combination, the warmth of the sun seemed to bring the scent out.


2. I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again - celebrated their 50th birthday this last week and I spent a good time listening to the three hour special.  It's always a good laugh and gloriously silly, although I would have to agree with the rest of the cast that John Cleese's silly walk does not work brilliantly on radio.

3. Persephone Books - I received a voucher for three books for my birthday and this week I decided it was a good time to spend it.  It took me quite a while to decide, one day I aim to own all their books, although this would need to involve ongoing purchases as they are continuing to publish books.  This last week they have published Elisabeth du Waal's novel The Exiles Return, about a number of Jewish refugees returning to Vienna after the war, which has never before been published.  My grandfather left Vienna as a Jewish refugee in early 1939 so this book has resonance for my family's story.  I recently finished reading her grandson Edmund du Waal's book The Hare with the Amber Eyes, part family biography, part history, both of art and of events.  It is a book written with infinite care and no sentimentality or nostalgia for a lost age, I would highly recommend the second book and am greatly looking forward to reading the first.  I am also very grateful to Persephone for publishing the book and giving a voice to what happened.

4. Relaxing simple crochet - a straightforward, slightly wobbly, crocheted dish cloth, for immediate kitchen use.  It kept me occupied and relaxed for an afternoon and is already in service.  Made from half a ball of Drops Paris I had hanging around in my stash.



Hopefully I will be prompter in posting this week, hopefully.

52 Weeks of Happy - Week 10 (also belatedly)

I am still behind with blogging, this time because of a week effectively wiped out by a cold in the head, a minor affliction that is capable of making one feel disproportionately unwell.  However, this post belongs to the week before this just gone, the week of toothache.  My life has been so full of fun lately.  But it is good to look for some positives even in the middle of the nasty stuff.

1. The 109 bus - I have never been so glad to see a bus in my life.  I was on my way to the dentist and had arrived in the suburb by train, walked out of the station and become completely disorientated (note to self: next time take a map).  So I managed to go the wrong way out of the station and walk for what seemed about a mile in the wrong direction.  The penny was just dropping and I was getting dangerously close to my appointment, when I found myself beside a bus stop for buses running towards the direction I had just come.  To my intense relief there was a 109 bus crawling along the road towards me that delivered me to the dentist's just about on time.  Mercifully the toothache and general jaw pain seems to be inflamed gums, rather than the more serious problems I had been imagining - note to self: do not immediately leap to the worst possible conclusion over *everything*.

One of my dad's toy buses for illustrative purposes

2. Confusion by Elizabeth Jane Howard - I have been deep in the Cazalet novels lately, devouring them greedily.  I cannot remember when I was last so engrossed by a series of books or a fictional family, I found myself truly caring what happened to them and whereas in the earlier books I had been enjoying and taking note of the writing and narrative devices, all that detail began to fly out of the window as I got further into the story.  I cannot recommend these novels enough.  For so long I have been limited in my reading by brain fog and tiredness, so to be able to regain some of my previous capacity for reading is a real joy.



3. Robins - out in the garden during some rare sunshine I saw both robins, the first boldly sitting on a branch just above my head singing lustily, the second creeping about the undergrowth and holly, battling curiosity and cautiousness, unable to resist taking a look at me despite nervousness.  I have great hopes of a nest of little robins.



4. Beautiful yarn in the sunshine - this is Mind the Gap by Trailing Clouds, Blue Faced Leicester wool yarn dyed in all the colours of the London Underground lines.  As I have plans (or hopes?) of casting this on soon I had been winding the yarn and thought the opportunity for photographs was too good to miss.

52 Weeks of Happy - week 9 (belatedly)

Life has somehow overtaken me and I am now two weeks behind in "52 weeks of happy", it may be challenging remembering what happened in the week before last so you will have to bear with me!  I did consider doing weeks nine and ten in one post, but that seemed somehow to be cheating.

1. Camomile Tea - recommended by a friend because I was so stressed and tense I could not relax, to the point where I was rigid with tension or shaking.  It worked almost at once, unlocking the tension enough that I could then work on relaxing and could cope again.  Since then I have had some every day and while I am not completely sorted, it is helping.

2. More signs of spring - some more tree prunings, this time from the magnolia tree outside the house.



3. Marking Time - the second of the Cazalet novels by Elizabeth Jane Howard.  It is ages since I was so lost and absorbed in a book, or a series of books.  They deal with the life of an extended family in the years surrounding and during the second world war, there is so much skill in the way she tells the story from different perspectives and managing to produce an ensemble work in which there are no weak or under-developed characters.  I have ended up caring about these characters intensely, truly caring what happens to them.  The novels are being beautifully dramatised on radio 4 across this year to mark Elizabeth Jane Howard's 90th birthday.

4. Apple loaf - from the Edmonds' cook book, essentially a soda bread with grated apple added.  It was moist and tasty with a dense but not heavy crumb.  Even better it was not hard to make so hopefully I will be able to make it again soon.  I am considering whether some spices and sultanas would make good additions, sounds like experiment time!

52 Weeks of Happy - Week 8

Posting a day late this week because I have been a little (more) under the weather (than usual), nothing major, just a low level virus I think but enough to be annoying and make me even more tired.  It is also increasing my brain fog so that I am finding it hard to think clearly or focus on things at times and I have felt a bit down about it at times.  However, I am trying not to let this take over, so I am writing this post for a start, although I do not appear to have taken many or any photographs this week so you will have to excuse the blog's dull appearance for a bit.

1. Talking - talking to someone wise with whom you feel safe to say how you really feel and who makes you feel like you are not doing so badly after all.  The sort of conversation that leaves you with a lot to take in, think about and pray over.  Oh that there were more people like this in the world and oh that I could help others in the same way one day.  Such a precious opportunity.


From a previous year but still delightfully sunny.

2. Potato farls - where have these been all my life?  They feel like the perfect food for this grimly cold weather.  I got the recipe from this brilliant feature in The Observer by Miss South of the blog North/South Food, not only is the recipe simple and effective, there are a number of the other recipes on my "to try" list and the piece is thoughtful, thought-provoking and well written.  Do go and read it, then try the recipes.

3. A gentle, silly film - this time a 1970s film-of-a-sitcom: Bless this House starring Sid James (who also came up last week), which was on Film 4 this week and is bound to be on again.  It was just right for an afternoon on the sofa knitting.  I am considering checking out the original sitcom.


Again not this year's, but I am beginning to see snowdrops and crocuses and must get some photos of the primroses.

4. Friends - I have been lucky enough this week to have a couple of social engagements, which I managed to fulfil despite feeling under par, and there really is nothing like sitting around a table eating and talking.  I can see why Jesus is so often found eating with people in the Gospels, be it up mountains, beside lakes or after inviting himself to someone's house, it can be one of the best ways of getting to know people and deepening relationships.  There is a special warmth and vulnerability to sitting down to eat together, like the Vikings leaving their weapons at the door when they sat down to eat or King Priam going to eat with Achilles when he goes to him to ask for Hector's body back in the Iliad.  What made this dinner even nicer was that it was utterly unexpected, my neighbour called around and invited me that afternoon.

My other social occasion this week was having coffee with a knitting friend, a form of socialising I enjoy very much and we had a good chat about stranded colour work and other knitterly topics of conversation.

So, on with the rest I think.

52 Weeks of Happy - Week 7

Another week has somehow rolled by, rather fast too and yet I do not feel that I have done anything definite with it.  This continues to be a good exercise, to find things to be positive about.

1. Classic Comedy - this week's Hancock's Half Hour episode on BBC Radio 4 Extra was a true classic, the first ever of the series, with Bill Kerr and Moira Lister in particular being given more of the jokes.  In this episode they often act as a double act and a faster foil to Hancock's slower style, it is a great pity that his jealousy and insecurity later got in the way of this.  Already various hallmarks of the show are in place, from the stutter at the beginning, through the incredible music, ending with Sid James being at the root of most of the trouble as ever!  A must-listen.



2. Blue skies and sunshine - it was properly warm for the first time this year today, only two days after being so cold it made my fingers cold.  I could tell it must be warm when I looked out of my window this morning and saw next door's cat sitting in the sun!  Spring is unmistakeably beginning, as I was walking home today I was stopped dead in my tracks by the first of the blossom on the trees in the street.  I will try to keep taking photos of it as it opens because it is always beautiful when the street is full of blossom.



3. Smooshy alpaca - I have resurrected a cardigan I began last year and have been putting in lots of work on it this week.  Despite the hours there has been only a small amount of growth as being in sport weight there are rather a lot of stitches involved.  But I have loved Drops Alpaca for a while now and this colour in particular (7240m since you ask, no I did not have to look that up, yes I do need to get out more), so I am thoroughly looking forward to wrapping myself up in soft clouds of alpaca.



4. A charity shop bargain - a 1970s Patons book of bazaar makes, there are all the classics in here including the tea cosy that looks like a gypsy caravan.  There are quite a few things that are actually makeable too, so it is not just amusing, though I am quite taken by the parrot.

52 Weeks of Happy - week 6

Six weeks into this 52 weeks of happy, goodness me, never thought I'd last this far.  It has not been a bad week, not too bad anyhow, although I have been struggling to relax and sleep.  I keep meaning to write other blog posts and they keep not happening.  Today I do not feel especially positive, so coming up with four things to be positive about is a good exercise, hopefully it will help my head see that there are positive things going on, help me not to miss them.

1. A kind thought and a great quotation - a kind friend sent me a lovely cotton bag she had got on a weekend away in Sheffield, with the following quotation on it "It is impossible to be angry when looking at a penguin", from of all people, John Ruskin.  I would love to know what the origin is of this statement, I had always associated Mr Ruskin with serious matters, not penguins.  The bag has two rather gorgeous penguins following in one another's footsteps and it put a big smile on my face.  Naturally it already has some knitting in it.



2. Cabin Pressure - the radio 4 show, which each week keeps me in stitches, laughing so hard the whole house can hear, if not next door as well.  John Finnemore is a brilliant writer, mixing wordplay, situation and plain silliness into a superb and closely packed half hour.  Go and listen on iplayer while you can - the last in the series is next Wednesday at 6.30.  I realise now that I should have mentioned this sooner, before the series was nearly over, however, you can catch up with the previous series on audible most reasonably.

3. Continuing promise of spring - the buds on our wild cherry twigs are breaking and gorgeous green leaves emerging, hopefully there will soon be flowers.  They are rather hard to photograph though.



4. Prayer - I would not have made it through the week without prayer, both mine and other people's.  Sometimes it is talking things over, sometimes sitting in peace, with some liturgy in between.  Prayer helps me to keep my stress and anxiety levels manageable, my mood more stable, and helps me and others in so many ways.  I am so grateful to God for this gift and that He cares about us and our daily lives, that He is interested and wants to hear from us, no matter how small or big the problem.  Through prayer God is teaching me to rely on Him and how infinitely gracious He is.  For example, if I cannot find something I try to remember to pray, before tearing the house apart looking, as I find searching for things so tiring and they do generally appear after I have prayed, sometimes almost at once, sometimes a little while later, but they do.  Through watching Him answer prayers on a small scale I find I can learn to trust Him more for the big things.

Prayer also helps me to feel less useless within the church - I may not be able to do much else for my church and for the wider church, but I can pray.  It is so good to have others pray for me too, sometimes it is easier to pray for someone else than it is for yourself and in the past a good friend and I have arranged to pray for one another that day rather than struggle with prayer for ourselves.  I love how God equips us to help one another and love one another.

Time to try to relax and get some sleep now I suppose.

52 weeks of happy - week 5

A steadier week thankfully, once I had recovered from the "alarums and excursions" at the end of last week and was able to sleep again.  There was even a good day, which is a rare thing indeed.  I do keep meaning to blog in between these posts but keep not getting around to it,  hopefully tomorrow I can remedy this as I have a couple of finished objects to post about if nothing else.

1. Blue sky - a rare commodity over this past year and so much appreciated on the occasions that it has appeared.  I spent time sitting simply looking at it, drinking it in.  At times it was accompanied by sunshine which was lovely, even the feeble warmth of winter sunshine was wonderful and a hint of the spring to come.  I truly am praying and hoping that this year will be less overcast than last, after a while it just starts to drag you down, especially during the summer when it is supposed to be better weather - oh how British, going on and on about the weather!



2. Unexpected early buds - my dad had used some prunings from the wild cherry tree to stake some hyacinths we had in a pot in the kitchen and being in the warmth, with the water from the pot, they have started to bud.  Some are almost out, when they are I shall try to get photos and get them up here.  We have collected up some more of the prunings and put them in a vase to see if similar happens to them.  I never like seeing branches indoors like that if they've been cut off the tree just to look at, it seems mean to all the birds and insects who would benefit from them, but since the tree needed pruning anyway it is not so bad.



3. A lovely pub breakfast with knitters last Saturday morning, good food, friendly chatter and laughter and knitting, a good way to spend any morning in my opinion.

4. Having a good day - not a dramatically good day, just a calmly, nothing getting to me, not feeling too awful day, which is better than wild excitement or overwhelmingly happy in my book.  A walk in the sunshine, reading on the sofa in the sunshine, seeing two police horses go past the house (they appear to have been past our house every day this week at exactly the same time, looking very handsome but rather bored), some peace and quiet and noticing that some snow drops had come out.  Unfortunately the photograph I managed to get is not very good because there was an incredibly high wind so all the plants kept moving about wildly.



Here's to more good days in future.

52 Weeks of Happy - week 4

This week has felt like a long, hard week.  First there was the snow, which kept me in the house for days because fibromyalgia and snow do not mix, and made the days seem endless, although the rest helped a bit.  Then my mother was ill, as referred to yesterday, which has left me feeling rather shaken and a bit emotional.  All the more reason to look for my four happy things this week.

1. Goldfinches - there were eight in the garden today, males and females, this is the largest number we've seen before.  They are such pretty birds and it is thrilling to have them in the garden.  A few years' ago I started catching glimpses of goldfinches them in a garden around the corner and so they have slowly moved up the gardens.  So far the other birds seem tolerant of their presence, even the robin, who still has occasional attempts to prove that the feeder is his and his alone.  For some reason the robin seems to go for the dunnocks a lot, I suspect because they look similar to him.  My sister took this photo this morning of one of the goldfinches on the bird feeder.



2. A good book - I have been reading Slipstream, Elizabeth Jane Howard's autobiography and it is a thoroughly enjoyable read, not only because she has known some remarkable people and done remarkable things, but also because it is so well written, quite the best autobiography I can remember reading.  She has an incredible memory, wins your sympathies and is humbly honest about her mistakes.  Yet more than this, she shares the wisdom she has learnt through her life, although not in a didactic or condescending manner.  For all these reasons and more I have been finding this compelling and having the Kindle version has made it far easier to read as it is a long book (around 500 pages), but somehow manages not to feel long.  I am looking forward to getting onto her novels.

3. The perfect green - Rico Merino Essentials DK in shade 42, bought at Deramores, a shop I've never used before but who seem very efficient.

4. Miranda - whoever put this show on Monday evenings in January was a genius, it is the perfect antidote to January.

52 Weeks of Happy - week 3

This has been a slightly strange week, during which the admonition to "Rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn" (Romans 12.15) has never seemed more apt.  For my friends there has been great sorrow and also some joys and I have had the joy of my birthday, it has been quite emotional at times.

Nonetheless there have been joys this week, life at its essence is a sharp mixture of joy and sadness.  The biggest joy has been my birthday so we shall make that number one.

1. My birthday, which I managed to approach with the minimum of trepidation and soul searching about "achievements" and which my family and friends combined to make special.  I had a great many cards and generous presents and messages and feel thoroughly spoiled and humbled that so many people value me.


Birthday banana cake

2. Wonderful new yarn that my sister gave me for my birthday, hand-dyed in stripes, in the colours of the London underground lines, from Trailing Clouds.  I am most excited about knitting this, I still find self-striping yarns exciting, knitting away, wondering which colour will come next and when.  Additionally I am in awe at the hard work that has gone into dyeing this yarn to create approximately six round stripes in so many colours, by hand.



3. Coffee with a new friend and her little boy who is about a year and a half.  A delightful and refreshing combination of a good chat and some play with her little boy, who is very sweet and well behaved.  To be repeated soon I hope.

4. Beautiful snow, which has been falling steadily for most of the day, giving us more light than we have had for a while and muffling noise, creating a quiet, bright, cold world, although I feel terribly sorry for the birds.


A goldfinch on its way to the bird feeders

And so on we go through the year, hopefully I will be able to shake off the threatened depression and accompanying lethargy and "what's the point" feeling more this week.  I think the weekly discipline of looking at the good things that have happened is helping though.


A cyclamen flowers on

52 Weeks of Happy - week 2

I thought Fridays would be a good day to do these posts in future, so here goes.  Positive thinking here we come!

1. The sun breaking through the clouds, it has been such a relief to see some blue sky and even sunshine today after so long of day after day of grey clouds and a feeling of never having enough light.

I grabbed a shot of this dramatic sky earlier in the week, sorry for the quality, I was using my phone.

2. The scent of hyacinths, no photograph I am afraid, but they smell heavenly.  My aunt sends us a pot of them every year, growing, so hopefully next year we shall be able to enjoy them in the garden.

3. Having a laugh with friends.  I managed to go to my church small group this week and it was lovely to be able to talk and relax and share a joke and realise how blessed I am by this group of people.

4. Knitting socks.  The sparkly socks are finally finished and I even managed to find some sun in which to photograph them.  Before I had finished them I had started the next pair - I hate not having a pair on the go and I needed some easy knitting to take out with me.  The new pair are a fairly ambitious pair of knee highs but in sport weight yarn for speed and cosiness.

I leave you with another photograph of the sparkly socks, they photograph so well and look so special.  I have not yet brought myself to wear them yet!

52 Weeks of happy - an attempt - week 1

This morning I came across Little Tin Bird's post about Little Birdie's idea of having a weekly post through this year called 52 Weeks of Happy.  The idea is that once a week you post four things that have made you happy that week.  As someone who can be somewhat happiness challenged this seems like an excellent idea and should serve the twin purpose of making me blog more regularly and more importantly examine the things that make me happy and hopefully see the happy things in my life and not let them get drowned out.

Both the bloggers previously mentioned seem to be posting a photograph for each happy thing, I can't be sure I can keep that up, so I will endeavour to have some photographs at least.

So here goes, Week 1, in by a whisker:

1. Sparkly socks - sparkly Monkey socks, edging towards completion, glittering with every stitch!


2. A stack of reading material - thanks to the Oxfam online shop's sale.  I have started with The Vicarage Children by Lorna Hill and it is an utter delight.

(Sorry for the rubbish phone photo)

3. A plethora of brilliant radio, over the past couple of days I have enjoyed The Eustace Diamonds by Anthony Trollope, The Snow Goose by Paul Gallico and on a slightly different note My MS and Me by Jim Sweeney.  The latter I have just discovered is available from his website, which is brilliant because there are so many people I want to tell about it.  If you have any kind of disability or want to understand what life can be like having a disability or you are just a human being, have a listen.

4. Various bulbs in the garden starting to show shoots already, mainly due to the mild weather I suspect, but giving promise of spring and good things to come.